This week was interesting. I've been looking to fill a senior role on my team at work for months now. And Monday was going to be a big day. I had found someone who was perfect. He had the perfect set of skills and experience, and was a perfect fit for my company's culture. He was signing the offer of employment that day.
And then I got an email from him saying something had happened over the weekend that would change his plans. We talked and yes, he is no longer coming. It sucked. The workload relief I was so looking forward to disappeared into thin air. I was screwed - back to square one in filling a very hard role to fill. Back to too much work and too small a team.
There is a good reason this happened. Maybe it would have not been such a good fit in the long run. Fit is always a gamble - a few hours of interviews can never provide enough foresight. Maybe he would have started only to leave a few months later. That would have been worse than never starting. And life isn't lived at work. It's lived in our hearts. The reason he was no longer taking the job was he had made a decision to explore moving countries along with his girlfriend. Her mother had suddenly become ill and needed her daughter. Surely that is more important.
I first heard about the notion that we create our own stories over a decade ago at the Creative Problem Solving Institute in Buffalo NY. Back then I thought it was absurd. I wasn't ready to accept responsibility for all the bad things that happen to me. It wasn't me, it was them! It was life being mean. Now I am gently reminded, every time I'm on my mat, that perspective is truly everything. What happens happens. But the impact it has on you is everything to do with how you look at it. And you control how you look at it.