As I was lying on my yoga mat in Sukhasana last night I felt so wholly relaxed. I could feel my body give way to gravity. I could feel my rigidity slip away. And it dawned on my how different it felt to how my body had felt all day. I had spent the day stiff.
I always feel like the stiff in the room. In a meeting with clients. Out for lunch with colleagues. At my kids school talking to other parents. At a cocktail party or any other social gathering. It actually doesn't matter if I know the people or not. What makes me stiff is thinking that I am a stiff and I am coming off as a stiff. What I think, I am.
I need to relax. When I am relaxed I am present. I am able to stop the running commentary in my head on how the conversation is going and my role in it. I am able to truly listen to the conversation and natural comraderie ensues.
I don't need to plan out a conversation ahead of time. In fact I can't. Even what I will say I can't plan ahead as, other than the opening line perhaps, what I say is in response to what others say. Why plan something that can never go as planned? It feels like a waste of time and energy, doesn't it?